Breaking the Trance
July 9, 2013 § 32 Comments
If you want to become whole,
let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight,
let yourself be crooked.
Tao te Ching
I have spent myself in the pursuit of perfection. Trying to think my way to the perfect choice, trying to maneuver myself to the perfect outcome. And beating myself up when I inevitably fall short.
And so because I cannot find the perfect words, I disappear from my writing. Because I cannot construct the perfect relationship, I disappear from those around me- until all that’s left is my solitary sense of inadequacy.
I say, “I’ve been away.” But I’m not away, literally. I’m here- and not here. Like so many people, I often exist in a trance- speaking, acting, doing and yet absent.
Right now, I feel myself drawing strength from the certain knowledge that my life begins again in each moment. Each moment I can choose. I can return to myself. Be present and strong.
Moment by moment. Again and again.