July 10, 2012 § 31 Comments
The one goeth to his neighbor because he seeketh himself, and the other because he would fain lose himself. Your bad love to yourselves maketh solitude a prison to you.
I am a child. We are at a park and a group of boys are playing baseball. My father commands me to go ask the boys if I may join them. I do and they simply ignore me and carry on their game.
I am a young University professor at my first academic conference. I seek to join a conversation but as I see the other academics glance at my nametag, there’s no mistaking the disinterest expressed in their body language.
I am sitting across from someone I love. Without words, I can sense the distance between us- the discomfort that person feels being in my presence.
We each want to be chosen. We need to be the one that others want. When we are not the chosen one, we lament. Why not me?
Looking for ourselves in the response of others is our great and terrible affliction. It is just another way of giving others the power to determine our self-worth. Just another passage to the inauthentic life that ceaselessly dogs us.
Do not seek yourself in others. Do not seek to be chosen. Choose.
It is your choices- not theirs- that embody who you are.